“Nyowe nyine amashemererwa” – “I am grateful”.
Is there any young girl whose heart skips with mixed emotions when someone refers to them as a woman. Yes! Those emotions of “ayaaa” now what?
My senior woman back in Buddo Junior is one of those teachers whose message is nailed deeply on my mind in fact my heart. She always said “One day you will be a woman. When that time comes make sure nothing you do today makes you regret” ofcourse she said it in Luganda…so for all I know I might have misunderstood her. But I did not.
Lately I find myself looking at young girls with envy. Yes. Green envy. I can not point my finger on what exactly it is about them. Maybe it is their genuine laughter. Or maybe it is the fact that they have massive confidence in their looks. Could it be that they cry about things that inflict pain on their bodies and not their hearts.
Last week at the saloon a baby girl perhaps five years old looked at me with curiosity as I had my nails done. When I was done painting my nails purple and green I swerved them in her face (I said I envy young girls, didn’t I?) Well this girl laughed at me and showed me her plain fingers. Yes! She had the guts. You see deep in her heart she knew they were beautiful. Don’t get me wrong. I totally think my nails are gorgeous well I thought that many years ago. So am sure the thought still stands.
I remember when the song by Britney Spears “Am not a girl,not yet a woman” was a hit. Yes. I come from that generation. Anyway that song always had me and my friends singing out so loud. I vividly remember the day it appeared in the newspapers. My friend and I cut it out from the teacher’s newspaper and sat in the field to cram all the lyrics, word by word. You see at that age, the song made so much sense.
Today. I don’t know. Need to listen to it again.
But why, I have the lyrics stuck to my heart!
“I used to think, I had the answers to everything, but know I know that life doesn’t always go my way, yeah… feels like am caught in the middle that’s when I realize…”
So now what used to excite me about those words? I cannot even explain it. Even if I was at gun point. Well, at gun point I am sure the answer I would give would not make sense.
Fast forward. I am grateful that am in-between a Girl and Woman.
Today, when I laugh the joke is sometimes one I cannot share with my mum but neither with a five year old girl.
When I cry, my mum says I have not seen anything yet, am almost sure Kirabo (my ten year old sister) will opt to watch Frozen than to hear what makes me cry.
When I worry; mum does not want to hear the story. She turns the other way when I wear my worried face. “The things that worry you baffle me Kemmy” she has continuously said laughingly. How can I even tell Kirabo those things?
When you are in between a Girl and a Woman, you are in a great place. I believe.
The words ‘future’, ‘hope’, ‘tomorrow’ should make the most sense to you.
Oh! The word ‘today’ should give you butterflies.
Words like ‘yesterday’ and phrases like ‘those days’, ‘had I known’ should give you power.
Because when you are in-between a girl and a woman. You are not count up!
You are in a GRAND place.