The songs that raised us… #1

I bumped into this song…While listening to “Latest from Live at the Opry” I am country like that…Country music is it. It is my sanctuary. I come alive while listening to it. It makes me feel everything from Pain to Joy and everything in between. God only knows how much I want to feel everything.

As a child, mum knowingly (I like to believe she knew) made us listen to country music…So we listened to Kenny Rogers, Dolly Parton, Jim Reeves, Alan Jackson, George Strait, Crystal Gayle… Up until today I thought that was the norm in many families too. But it was not. Or may it was? You tell me!

Don Williams.jpgCrystal GayleKenny Rogers and Dolly Parton

Anyway today I bumped ; The kind where you feel the pain in this case butterflies all over your body, The kind that makes a tear run out of your eyes only to feel it after the other eye is tearing too. The kind that makes you feel your heart. You hum to the song and smile to yourself while looking for tissue to dry your eyes.

And the tears. They won’t stop. You don’t want to answer your neighbor’s questions…those empty questions. I am never sure anyone even means it when they ask “Are you OK?”

One of these days I will speak very honestly.

Anyway. Today. Here I was. Crying while laughing. Smiling at myself. This song. I remember it. I always danced to it, paying little or no attention to the lyrics.

Today they made sense. All of them. As a child, the version I was familiar with is that of Don Williams. This version is even more beautiful…

Kathy Mattea – Come From The Heart

 

“My daddy told me when I was a young girl
A lesson he learned, it was a long time ago
If you want to have someone to hold onto
You’re gonna have to learn to let go
You got to sing like you don’t need the money Love like you’ll never get hurt
You got to dance like nobody’s watchin’
It’s gotta come from the heart
If you want it to work…

Now here is the one thing I keep forgettin’
When everything is falling apart
In life as in love, you know I need to remember
There’s such a thing as trying too hard
You got to sing like you don’t need the money”

Kathy Mattea – Come From The Heart

DENIM & MELANIN

I would add some orange to this look to pop. Lol at give your ex a run for his money! 🙂 #Kikazi

No matter how unfortunate you think you are if you have Love – You have Everything

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Fridays are for letting loose. Whydontcha?!!Why am I even writing this?…hahahaha letting loose is something I can barely do. But I tried with this one.

From pointy heels, over sized jackets to button down blouses, distressed denim is still rocking the fashion scene in so many forms. Although preferred in the loose format in 2016, I still love me some skinny ones.

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Paired with everything from graphic tees to chunky necklaces, this outfit is surprisingly easier to mix into your wardrobe for a clean and funky look. Here are some tips on how to rock this throw back trend.

Colours

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Experiment with a variety of colours such as such as red, blue, black, green and white. Just make sure they are solid-colored. For now, let’s say you can opt for red since valentines…

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I am Busy!

If there is any excuse I hate to give anyone and by anyone I mean everyone, it is this one…

Wait for it… “I am busy” either with a huge bob cat grin or with a big fat swollen face from crying. I don’t care. I hate it when some tells me they are busy and thus I am trying to cultivate my mind. around it.busy5

A very wise man(To my standards) Once told me that

“we are all given 24 hours in a day. No one less and the other more.

and that what sets us apart from others is how we use the 24 hours.”

I must say when he told me that I looked at him and wondered “My days seem longer”

Yes. That was the time when all I had to do was just be alive. You know those times when a friend is stuck in town and they just call you up and you are available. Before you leave her another open suggests meeting and you drag this one along. Then later in the evening after you have found yourself on another hemisphere of this town, you don’t mind sitting in the jam and listen to some music on your way home.

Do I see you hand up?

Now put it down. I very sure those days have come to end. Oh! they have not? This blog is not for you my dear.

This blog is for all the people who are “Busy”

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The ones that can put their foot down and strongly proclaim that 24 hours are not enough for them.

This blog is for all those who cannot reply a sms when they are being requested to give a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ answer because they are busy.

This blog is for all those who do not check on their parents and grandparents because they are busy.

This blog is for all those ladies that forget to take care of themselves because they are busy.

This blog is for all the Gentlemen who will not call their Ladies in the day to say “Hi” because they are busy. Oh and they don’t return missed calls.

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It is for those who do not clean up their homes and rooms because they are busy.

This blog is for all those who forget their friends’ birthdays because they are busy.

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This blog is for you. If you comfortably blurt out to someone, that you are busy. Shamelessly.

Someone  who strongly cares about you. This could be yourself. Your ‘special’ one. Friend. Sibling. Parent. Grandparent. Name it…

 Please help me understand what you mean every time you say you are busy.

Are you asking for more than 24 hours in your day? OK let’s assume you got 2 more hours perhaps 6 more, would the excuse of “I am busy” fade into the wind.

The Bible is clear, treasure

So that, that is keeping you “Busy” is it the Treasure you have chosen?

Great Expectations

“You are an intern? Really? How is that even possible? You were best student through school?”

Have you heard of a quote from Margaret Mitchell that says “Life is under no obligation to give us what we expect.”

Well Margaret had her in mind when she said that.

She graduated on top of her class. Wagullu! She was the name that rhymed with ‘good student” for all her teachers. She always had the answers the teachers asked for. One was almost convinced some were lies. Just that she had gained their favour.

She tucked in. She ironed her uniform. Her socks were white despite the dust that rose every morning as we rushed for assembly and settled on our desks.

You see, she stood for prefect and was always unopposed because the teachers found it wise to disqualify the candidate who even dared to anticipate standing against her.

She was by all means every mother’s dream daughter. Yes! Mothers also have  “dream daughters” who are usually not their own daughters. Speak of watering your grass to make it greener.

Anyway this girl sailed from one class to another on Aladdin magic carpet. carpet

She left the one school she had automatically been in from her S-1 – S-6 with flying colours as people like to call them (One of the most misplaced imageries I must say)

During her vacation, she did everything right. I still don’t know what she did as there is no story to show for it. Yes! She is that kind of girl.

University, she lived by the book. She dotted her ‘I’s and crossed her ‘t’s every time. And by every time I mean that I can assemble her class to second me.

You see, this girl did not know better. She dreamt of her next life and saw herself behind a desk. She saw herself calling the shots at the end of a table full of people longing to hear her clarify the way forward for them.carpet2

When she watched the video of “Miss Independence” it was her playing Gabrielle Union.

In her mind she had done it all right.

In fact at her graduation party when her Dad held her accolade high and showed it off to the guests boosting about her first class. She smiled and said “What else was there for me to get?”

She had done it. Her dad pledged to fund her masters as soon as she was ready. And we clapped.

Yesterday you and I met her, two years later. We asked her how she was doing.

She answered “ I am fine” That’s the exact answer she was taught in school as the answer to the question “How are you?”

She thought we did not see the pain. We ignored it and went on with the same questions we indifferently ask everyone else.

“What are you up to?”

“Oh. I am well. I am an intern at…” we did not let her finish.

“You are an intern? Really? How is that even possible? You were best student throughout school?”

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Now I would really want to go with this story but I have very mixed emotions about where it should go… How about we finish it together.

Valley of bones – Ezekiel’s story

“Yes! I don’t know the story of Ezekiel. Is it even in the Bible?”

I heard myself question myself this a few months ago.

If you went for Sunday school in places where the teacher spoke English you probably know many stories from the Bible. But if like me, they spoke a language that when translated, names change… You are still learning stories from the Bible.

You probably looked for Luth and Ruke for sometime before you found them.

Anyway some weeks ago I was listening to “Spirit Wind” by Casting Crowns. And it had a story that shocked me. Now the reason I like Casting Crowns is because they have stories in their music. So this song made me smile and imagine things. I was very amused by my imagination. bones2

I had to share with my friend Sharon about it. She quickly told me it was a story in the Bible. And I was shocked more like amazed by my ignorance.

Now I would opt to read the Bible than to do anything else. That is my deepest desire.

But it does not mean that I read it all the time. (Honest look)

I had never had of the Ezekiel’s story.

So it took me sometime to believe that Sharon was not sending me on “a Chase your tail” kind of run.

I did not check the Bible. About 3 weeks ago I decided to look for the book of Ezekiel in my Bible. (I know what you are thinking and you are right, in my Sunday school classes we did not create songs around the books of the Bible)

I found it. I looked for the story closest to bones. bonesAnd I found it. Ezekiel 37.

I read the story. Word by word. Carefully. Switched on the photographic side of my brain. I saw it all coming alive.

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If you have not read this story, you are missing out on one of the most amazing stories you shall ever know.

In fact read it now.

I will summarize it for you because I need to tell you what I learnt from it.

Ezekiel had a vision where God showed him a valley of scattered bones. They had been eaten by vultures and all those other animals you see on Toyota Wildlife. They were lifeless. God sent a wind that moved down the valley and these bones begun to come together forming bodies oh maybe skeletons at this point. (I know, right?)Then tendons and muscles. Flesh. Begun to form. And then still they were lifeless.bones3

God breathed in them. And they started to move. (I saw you imagine a sound track)

The Cherry; these bones/humans now became an Army!

What this means to me;

  1. Do I even know how much God is capable of doing for/of/ with/ in me?
  2. Do I even know which stage of this transformation I am in?

While am writing this my parents are sited in the same room with me paying attention to each other. So why not ask them what this story means to them.

Here is what my Dad says with a smile

” Well I learnt that you can lie down as a sleeping giant but when God breathes His Spirit in you. You become great in the Army”

Mum shares with no hesitation and joy rumbling straight from her heart,

“Nyowe, I see that it is true that we are made in the image of God. What God can do, we can do… We co-designers.”

Here, Dad interrupts to say that God wants to interact with us as he revealed through this vision. Mum nods on and they take me into a free preaching session.

Read it. Ezekiel 37 and share what you learn.

I did mention it was a Vision, didn’t I?

In a Grand place.

“Nyowe nyine amashemererwa”  – “I am grateful”.

Is there any young girl whose heart skips with mixed emotions when someone refers to them as a woman. Yes! Those emotions of “ayaaa” now what?

My senior woman back in Buddo Junior is one of those teachers whose message is nailed deeply on my mind in fact my heart. She always said “One day you will be a woman. When that time comes make sure nothing you do today makes you regret” ofcourse she said it in Luganda…so for all I know I might have misunderstood her. But I did not.

Lately I find myself looking at young girls with envy. Yes. Green envy. I can not point my finger on what exactly it is about them. Maybe it is their genuine laughter. Or maybe it is the fact that they have massive confidence in their looks. Could it be that they cry about things that inflict pain on their bodies and not their hearts.girl1

Last week at the saloon a baby girl perhaps five years old looked at me with curiosity as I had my nails done. When I was done painting my nails purple and green I swerved them in her face (I said I envy young girls, didn’t I?) Well this girl laughed at me and showed me her plain fingers. Yes! She had the guts. You see deep in her heart she knew they were beautiful. Don’t get me wrong. I totally think my nails are gorgeous well I thought that many years ago. So am sure the thought still stands.

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I remember when the song by Britney Spears “Am not a girl,not yet a woman” was a hit. Yes. I come from that generation. Anyway that song always had me and my friends singing out so loud. I vividly remember the day it appeared in the newspapers. My friend and I cut it out from the teacher’s newspaper and sat in the field to cram all the lyrics, word by word. You see at that age, the song made so much sense.

Today. I don’t know. Need to listen to it again.

But why, I have the lyrics stuck to my heart!

“I used to think, I had the answers to everything, but know I know that life doesn’t always go my way, yeah… feels like am caught in the middle that’s when I realize…”

So now what used to excite me about those words? I cannot even explain it. Even if I was at gun point. Well, at gun point I am sure the answer I would give would not make sense.

Fast forward. I am grateful that am in-between a Girl and Woman.

Today, when I laugh the joke is sometimes one I cannot share with my mum but neither with a five year old girl.

When I cry, my mum says I have not seen anything yet, am almost sure Kirabo (my ten year old sister) will opt to watch Frozen than to hear what makes me cry.

When I worry; mum does not want to hear the story. She turns the other way when I wear my worried face. “The things that worry you baffle me Kemmy” she has continuously said laughingly. How can I even tell Kirabo those things?  :/

When you are in between a Girl and a Woman, you are in a great place. I believe.

The words ‘future’,hope’, ‘tomorrow’ should make the most sense to you.

Oh! The word ‘today’ should give you butterflies.

Words like ‘yesterday’ and phrases like ‘those days’, ‘had I known’ should give you power.

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Because when you are in-between a girl and a woman. You are not count up!

You are in a GRAND place.

Graduation Speech I should have given.

I am awake at 3 am. Eyes still stuck together both by the idea that its very late in the night and very early the morning. 

My heart has refused to rest . My dear Friend, Annie had asked me to speak at her graduation on behalf of her friends.

In the beginning I had taken it up as an opportunity to says few nice things about her. You know! Same old speech at every other Graduation. But then with the pause she put between the Graduation day (1 November 2013) and her Graduation party (5th December 2014) I had taken alot of time to compose myself. When the Mc announced that I was to speak next. A blanket of silence swept over me. I said the normal things. I maintain that all I said was the truth.

However;

These are the words I should have said.

I should have asked everyone; friends present to stand up and look at one another.

Annie, Its us against the world. We have gone to school been taught about it, lessons ranging from gravity to history to down warping and up warping to languages to motion and not forgetting all the Maths.

We have learnt it all. 
We should appreciate it.
  
But I maintain its us against the world. In school they didn’t teach us about the things that can defy forces of gravity and motion. Things that can change a whole path of History. Things that can and will change the future of the world.

Things like Friendship , Forgiveness , Fortitude , Integrity, Kindness , Strength  among others.

I therefore want urge us as Friends, that is us against the world.    
Never should we let the world stir us into joining it to bring Pain in the guise of short lived amusement through gossiping against one another, hate, Greed, mischievous actions that cook up in all our minds in order to get self worth and public acceptance. 

All these things that seem to bring joy. Statements like “all I care about is my happiness” should be fought against right from their time of conception in our minds. Because who said that your happiness is all you need? You are not alone on this Planet. (rising eyebrow)  So shove it all up and lets hold hands.

Its us against the world.

Let us always be there for one another. In utmost truth and brutal honesty.

Let us love one another. 1 Corinthians 13 is not only geared towards Eros love. Therefore that is the love am calling us to have for one another. Pure and Noble Love.

Never should we be fooled into thinking we are of this world and turn it (the world) against each other.

We all know how that has turned up.

With these words and more that we shall share as we plot against the world through Hard work, further studies , Fellowship virtues and Parenting among others.

I want to caution all of us that each and everyone of you is special. Now one can only imagine what special results we can do if we dig deep into ourselves and help one another reach our maximum potential.

Most important to note is that God is for us.

And its us against the world.

These are the words I should have said.

International Men’s Day; A day that should be marked on all our calendars.

 

Honestly, I didn’t know this day existed up until about 5 days back. I read Dr. Martin Sempa’s tweets with the hash tag #IMD2013 and I got curious. On finding out it was about Men’s day, I was glad. I then started think deep into the idea.

The fight for the girl child has been a great one. A very exciting one for most women. The number of NGOs present can testify to that. I feel like the boys have been side-lined. They have been forgotten.

In my O’level, the boys never swept the class nor mopped. The rota only had the girls. We always found that unfair as the boys used this as an excuse to make the class dirty and walk away saying “girls, don’t forget to clean the class, we want it clean tomorrow”.  Looking back now, I only pity them even when then that brought so much rage in the girls.

There is need for boys to be given so much attention too. To be taught about values and virtues. To be given business skills. And show them that they too are very important and crucial to drive society.

Someone once said that the problems of a nation could be the families. Everyone believes that women are the mothers of the nation. Without refuting the ideas, I wonder. Who makes them the mothers? Who heads these families?  Men. Men are boys before they become men. Therefore, these boys need a guidance and direction.

When we talk about youth programmes one would think that maybe boys and young men hide under this umbrella but I have seen women push their way through them and are lifted by society and media while there.

While in school, when a boy performed well, it was normal. When a girl performed well, it was great. Boys were asked to stand up and clap. Looking back we always thought these boys were just jealous when they booed instead. But who knows how and what they will resolve for the future.

I went to Maryhill for HsC and they stood by the fact that they were creating a Holistic Girl Child. They then went on to teach us so many things that were not on the syllabus like morals, general housework among others. Is there a school that set out with the goal of creating a Holistic Boy Child? Not forgetting that we were referred to as sheep and boys preferred to be called Bulls and Lions.

I agree with Dr. Sempa who believes that in order to create the Incorruptible Strong and Responsible Father and Man, we need to build the character of the boys. He talks about the 8 paged pull outs on women in newspapers versus the 2 paged ones on men which only scratch the surface and how crisis interventions are only for girls like Kisakatte.

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I therefore strongly believe that there is a crisis with the boys too. The media along with the Government ie. Ministry of Gender need to look into this matter. Many countries are celebrating this day, My country,Uganda should join in.

 

”Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.”

George Washington Carver

 This is the quote that I found when I tried to Google quotes of the day. I hoped to find something about how it’s cool to be young. Something about how being a woman is very important. Something to make me feel better about the fact that I feel like am under performing as a person. Or performing way beneath my abilities.

Lately I am a plant whose leaves are growing under the ground. Well, am not sure that will make sense so let me put it this way. I AM LIVING WAY BELOW MY ABILITIES.

When I wake up late, I make excuses about how I slept late. I cook up confidence from that fact that a normal human being should have at least 6 hours of sleep and then I adjust my alarm clock. Yes! I also tell myself things like I don’t think I will be busy at work. Then I sink deeper in my bed.

The day I put up this blog, I was very excited. Excited that I was finally going to share with (I honestly don’t know who) my ideas n thoughts. To my own shame I have not posted anything in the past 6 months. Very ashaming indeed.

However, I can’t say that I did not have anything to post. So I will not say it. I have been lazy. I have made so many excuses. I also know how to procrastinate like no other person alive. Sometimes that makes me wonder what kind of mother I will become.

Many events that I would rather not share but will constantly go back to for reference have brought me to this conclusion.Image

I am going to become a better person. I will not make excuses for my actions. I will own up.

Cheers to reading more on this blog.